bmf

i am a psycho chef .  been crazy for a while now  . i first realized im insane back in 1980 .  i was a kid tossing pizza in downtown miami way back when . a big family came in to the pizzaria .  kids, mom ,pop and grandma . grandma was a bit , shall we say , uhh, fragile .  kinda knockin on heavins door, so to speak .  so, everyones havin a good time ,  im tossing the pizza dough up in the air , giving the customers a little show , ya know. it so happens , this being miami , and a pizza dump/joint, the a.c. aint workin to well and the fans are at full blast.      i toss a large dough up full blast, ya know, for the show of it .  but , sadly, i miscalculated, and  it kinda got away from me, went straight to the NASCAR 4000 horsepower ceiling fan, which , in turn, tossed my pie right into dear old grandmas head.. now , you may ask yourself, at this point in the story, why is he calling himself a psycho chef ? it was an accident , right ?  well, actually, and im assuming the statute of limitations has expired on assault by pie dough, but the facts is: that old bitty was my 4th grade teacher , who gave me a d- on a book report on stonewall jackson { i worked my fucking ass off on that book report!.} i aimed that fucking dough right at that helicopter fan, with razor-sharp precision and blind fucking luck,  and nailed the bitch!!!     baaamm!!!as emeral might say  POW, RIGHT IN THE KISSER..  for u pussy- assers out there, she only suffered a mild case of whiplash and a black eye , for which i am truly, sincerely sorry.....  blah blah, and uhhh blah, blah  anyhoooo  thats when i realized , i got ISSUES  .                                                         im tired and drunk ,  NEXT BLOG:: why im moving to kenya;  why i fall in love with  SHALLOW,BEAUTIFULL WOMEN,   { yes , muse, you know who you are} , why im always the toughest guy in the room,  and fun , silly revalations about my former employers.  who happen to be on t.v. as i write this, talking about how brilliant they are ! i think ill call that one : DOLCE/AGRIA    so fuckoff, psychfants    ............  oh yeah , also my top 5 rom coms of all time   .. #6 - KING KONG    ciao